Umm… I’m obsessed with Doseone from Subtle. The following is an excerpt, verbatim (including capitalization and such), from a book that he compiled of his drawings and illustrations called “the pelt”:

note: nostradamus was a hack

the numbers on your house begin to sweat as you go to remove the 2 bills and usual circular. Your mailman’s standing out by the recycling with his back to you. you can sort of see in his truck rear window that he’s adjusting a clown nose to sit properly on his face. You turn to fish out the missing person postcard, but you begin to feel watched. You look to your left a full grown baby and large orange cat are fake driving and staring at you sideways from the front seats of an airbrushed blue van. as they slowly take a speed bump to the axels you notice that todays missing little girl is none other than a strapping young ed mcmahon. Your eyes go inside out for a split second. WHIP! Suddenly the powerlines across the street go taut, release, and then slowly suck in their slack over a standard oakland sky. There in the immediate distance a rather plump dove/pigeon looks as though its flying directly toward you. its carrying what appears to be a veiled birdcage in the three strong fingers of its one good foot. a slow sky second later it’s setting the strange gift on the shallow wall that fronts your apartment’s un-porch. the dumpy little pigeon peers up at you and winks it’s one eyebrow twice. Out the corner of your eye you notice the blue mean man van going up in orange flames at the nice red sign down by the second speedbump. The massive cat and grown baby are no where to be seen. The pigeon takes off quietly, sending something like chills down your suddenly so dreamy street. A moment later the block goes slow again, and the mailman has gotten ghost as well. Only the birds belated birthday cage remains veiled there before you. you slowly life the crushed velvet cloth covering the abandoned birdcage, and there on its side on a bed of damp news paper, is the candied and severed head of a young ed mcmahon. Were it not for the last give minutes you’d be shocked, but instead you grab a nearby stick and start to poke its closed eyes very gently. Nothing happens. and as you reach to pull the top off a deep breath, it’s done eyes snap wide open. you reach to cut yell, but young ed cuts you off.

“Put a cat in a box, and rig up a rube goldberg contraption involving a hammer, a vial of poison, and a quantum triggering device. if an electron moves into the opposite location, the hammer will drop smashing the vial and killing the cat.
The laws of quantum mechanics hold that as long as the electron remains undisturbed, it hangs in limbo, occupying both its possible states.
The cat, by extension, is both dead and alive.”

note: It will be hailed as a giant step forward for all mankind… When they decide to permanently alter the aestetics of either a school or prison bus, their appearance being otherwise identical,less the fenced-in windows is entirely unacceptable.

optimists are easy…
They’re practically sluts…