And the first ever Donkeybits Golden Douche Award goes to…. *drum roll* this jackass!! :D

Why? Because he fucking trademarked the god damn smiley face, and has threatened to sue the Watchmen people if they don’t pay licensing fees or remove all instances of the smiley face from their marketing materials.

Here’s a great quote from Emperor Fucktard:

“A prehistoric man probably invented the smiley face in some cave, but I certainly was the first to register it as a trademark.”

You opportunistic douche! This fucker is why they have to make rules that impinge on other’s freedoms, because there’s always some cockhamster out there waiting to exploit the loopholes.

And Wal-Mart gets Honorable Douche Mention for trying to claim ownership of the symbol in the first place. Fuck off!!

Here’s the article: Smiley Face Is Serious to Company

“To Wal-Mart, which has photographs of smiley faces in its stores dating back to 1996, Mr. Loufrani is a trademark troll registering the symbol in as many product categories as possible.

“They are applying for rights over the smiley face in product categories that include animal semen,” John Simley, a Wal-Mart spokesman, said. “It shows they are trying to trademark everything they possibly can.”

“We don’t want to be precluded from using the smiley face anywhere we do business,” Mr. Simley, the Wal-Mart spokesman, said. “We feel an obligation to defend the smiley face.”

Poor defenseless smiley face. :( It’s so busy being happy it doesn’t realize how dangerous the world is that it lives in. :’( Good thing it has Wal-Mart’s greed to hide under for protection.

It’s one of those weird coincidences that the Wal-Mart representative’s name is “Simley.” That’s one-letter-being-moved away from “Smiley.” Wtf?!

Oh and incase you didn’t know, the “Happy Birthday To You” song is also copyrighted.

These things belong in the public domain!!! AHHHHHH!!!

God damn it trademark and copyright laws are fucking stupid!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

I’m not obsessing over Thom Yorke… I just keep coming across interesting things that happen to have to do with him. ;)

Diesel is so my new favorite company… EVER!!! THIS STUFF IS AMAZING!!!

I just… I just can’t even put into words how incredibly amazing this is:

HAhsdahaha… Awesome.

HAhafadjfaha. “We’re the big three. We don’t need to compete.”

The zebras are hot. No, I’m not joking.

What a rad commercial.