I can’t even put into words how insidious, disgusting, and criminally misleading and irresponsible these insanely offensive ads are. Why is it so easy for companies or industries with money to take people’s trust and rape it with a tire iron? Shit like this makes me angry enough to kill (in my imagination at least). You’re targeting kids, mothers and others, with reckless disregard for their health because it’s profitable. I almost wish I believed in hell.

A lot of people have this misconception about Jehovah’s Witnesses being a nice, conservative group of harmless people, but they honestly couldn’t be more wrong.

I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness from birth until I was about 15 and was allowed to finally leave (I was also baptized when I was 12). I’m “lucky” because I never fully bought what I was being taught because it never made sense to me (intuitively), but it did have a pretty profound affect on me (I grew up being told by my parents and everyone around me that this is how the world works, and it was an insane model of life), an affect that took years and years and a lot of deliberate focus to fully undo.

I recently got back in touch with a dear friend who I have known since I was 10, and who was also raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. We both basically left the cult at the same time, and were very close during our late teens and early 20s as we went through what I call PJSD (Post-Jehovah Stress Disorder) and had total death wishes, and were earning our Ph.D.s in self-destruction. He and I were talking online recently, and the conversation led me on a scavenger hunt for a documentary I saw years ago about the Jehovah’s Witness organization (called the “Watchtower Bible and Tract Society”) and their harboring of sex-criminals (child rapists/molesters, etc.). I didn’t find that particular documentary (called “Suffer The Little Children” made by the BBC), but I did find a lot of amazing stuff on YouTube.

This obviously won’t be as impacting for someone who wasn’t a victim of that cult, but it’s still really interesting, and definitely good information to have under your belt:

This was in the “Recently Popular” section of the MySpace “Bumper Stickers.”

Wow! And people sit and complain about how hard relationships are with other retards that have no fucking clue how to be in a mutually respectful relationship either, and because they’re both clueless they convince themselves that relationships must just be hard cause they both are sharing similar experiences.

“Well if you and I agree then it must be true!! It can’t be that we’re identifying with each other simply because we both have the same opinion and have arrested development in the same area… nope! This must be the way life REALLY is!!” :D

Relationships aren’t “hard,” they just require that people look at themselves, and grow and adapt. Most people expect the other person in the relationship to complete them, and the other person in the relationship expects the person expecting them to complete them to complete them. It’s not that relationships are hard, it’s that people are trying to smash the concept of “relationship” into some fucking twisted hole that it was never meant to fit into (and never will). Relationships are like anything else in life, and they typically take some fucking thought and effort and willingness to work on yourself to make them functional.

Yes, there are other valid variables, but I’m generalizing the type of dipshits that made that “Bumper Sticker,” and who have made it “Recently Popular.” Sometimes I feel like we live in a world full of fucking apes who have been given the same rights as people who actually put some effort into being thoughtful and into evolving. A good example of this is looking at the type of fucking degenerates in our country (like KKK members) who have the same right to vote as everyone else.

I also love how loosely people throw around the words “woman” and “man,” as if they have any fucking clue what it means to be either of those things, as opposed to being a perpetual teenager who’s occupying a body that has gotten progressively older, and that can on sight be mistaken for an adult.

“I don’t wanna grow up!! I’m a Toys ‘R’ Us kid!!” :D

Every time I come across something that represents popular opinion it just makes me want to hide under a rock.

And the first ever Donkeybits Golden Douche Award goes to…. *drum roll* this jackass!! :D

Why? Because he fucking trademarked the god damn smiley face, and has threatened to sue the Watchmen people if they don’t pay licensing fees or remove all instances of the smiley face from their marketing materials.

Here’s a great quote from Emperor Fucktard:

“A prehistoric man probably invented the smiley face in some cave, but I certainly was the first to register it as a trademark.”

You opportunistic douche! This fucker is why they have to make rules that impinge on other’s freedoms, because there’s always some cockhamster out there waiting to exploit the loopholes.

And Wal-Mart gets Honorable Douche Mention for trying to claim ownership of the symbol in the first place. Fuck off!!

Here’s the article: Smiley Face Is Serious to Company

“To Wal-Mart, which has photographs of smiley faces in its stores dating back to 1996, Mr. Loufrani is a trademark troll registering the symbol in as many product categories as possible.

“They are applying for rights over the smiley face in product categories that include animal semen,” John Simley, a Wal-Mart spokesman, said. “It shows they are trying to trademark everything they possibly can.”

“We don’t want to be precluded from using the smiley face anywhere we do business,” Mr. Simley, the Wal-Mart spokesman, said. “We feel an obligation to defend the smiley face.”

Poor defenseless smiley face. :( It’s so busy being happy it doesn’t realize how dangerous the world is that it lives in. :’( Good thing it has Wal-Mart’s greed to hide under for protection.

It’s one of those weird coincidences that the Wal-Mart representative’s name is “Simley.” That’s one-letter-being-moved away from “Smiley.” Wtf?!

Oh and incase you didn’t know, the “Happy Birthday To You” song is also copyrighted.

These things belong in the public domain!!! AHHHHHH!!!

God damn it trademark and copyright laws are fucking stupid!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

I’ve seen something suspicious on two products in as many days. What the hell does this mean?! Is this some new frightening trend in commercial food manufacturing where they’ve discovered some new sneaky-loophole verbiage for ingredients?!

What the fuck is “NATURIDENTICAL FLAVOR?!”

And what the fuck is “NATURAL BUTTER TYPE FLAVOR?!” Are you kidding me?!

If you just can’t wait to try some “NATURAL BUTTER TYPE FLAVOR” then you should run out now to your local grocery store and pick this up:

I have to say though that ‘Frank’s RedHot Original’ is a great hot / buffalo sauce. Effing AMAZING on pizza and Quorn veggie chik’n nuggets and all sorts of other stuff.

Whoa.

I just don’t even know where to start with this:



Notice the cholesterol intake for one serving!!! Holy crap!! 1170% of your daily intake?!?!!?!?! That’s a stroke and heart failure packaged conveniently in a single-serving can. Wow! What is wrong with people?! Is this really a necessary food source?! Couldn’t we perhaps do without pork-brains in milk gravy?!

I would also like to point out how appalling I think it is for cholesterol to even have a recommended daily percentage attributed to it!! It’s fucking HORRIBLE for you!!! That’s like assigning a recommended daily intake for plastic or broken glass. Wtf!?